WHAT IS A HEALTHY LEADER?

This is a question that many times is answered subjectively based on what an individual person thinks a healthy leader looks like.  For some, a healthy leader is someone who goes to the gym several times a week, goes on vacation, takes a consistent day off, has devotions in the morning, attends prayer meetings, shares his or her faith on a regular basis, or has a deep understanding of Scripture and doctrine.  What I have learned is that you can do all of those things and do them well and still not be healthy.  

So, what does a healthy leader really look like?  Throughout the past several years I have come to learn that 2 Corinthians 7:10-13 (Msg) gives us the best understanding of what a healthy leader looks like.  

Healthy leaders are becoming, "More alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible." 2 Corinthians 7:10-13 (Msg)

There is so much to unpack here and it would probably take me writing an entire book to explain the depth of what this verse means as it relates to healthy leaders.  However, let me summarize it this way.  Healthy leaders are learning to enjoy God and to enjoy life and those who are closest to them see it. 

1.  Healthy Leaders ask, "Who is God, and how do I enjoy the life changing presence of God?"  

Healthy leaders are growing in closeness and intimacy with God.  They are living in loving union with God and enjoying His presence daily.  This is more than a quiet time in the morning.  This is a relationship with God that is experienced deep in the soul through spiritual practices that open us up to the life changing presence of Jesus deep beneath the surface of our lives.  

A big reason why I burnt out was because the spiritual practices that I had learned throughout my life were not sufficient to sustain what I was giving.  In other words, that quick devotion and prayer in the morning was just not enough.  I would even add, the prayer meeting in the afternoon with our prayer team wasn't enough either.  I had to learn new practices that opened my soul up to the presence of Jesus.  Practices like silence and solitude, breath prayers, the welcoming prayer, lectio divina, the Daily Office, fixed hours of prayer, retreat, and so many more.  

I love what McDaniel writes in Living From the Center.  He writes, "In contrast to the obligatory, guilt producing quiet time, healthy pastors have explored and developed life practices of connecting with God in ways that enlighten our minds, lighten our loads, widen our hearts, animate our wills, and provide us with fresh possibilities in daily life." 

2.  Healthy Leaders ask, "Who am I and how do I develop a growing understanding of myself." 

I love how Pete Scazzero puts it, he writes that we must "Know ourselves that we may know God."  The truth is that most of us don't know who we are.  We identify with our role but do not fully understand who we are in our soul.   We often try to live other people's lives and never fully become who God created for us to become.  We live our lives trying to be all things to all people but lose our soul in the process.  

A prayer that I prayed for months was by St Francis of Assisi who prayed, "Who are you, Lord my God and who am I?"  To be honest, I had no idea who I was outside of what I did.  It wasn't until I started journeying within that I found my true self.  

As growing leaders we need to pursue a growing understanding of our:

• Capabilities
• Personality
• Motivations
• Emotional health
• Physical body
• Family of origin
• Our past and it's impact on the present
• Calling

This understanding enables us to develop effective healthy lifestyle habits, regulate our moods, nurture our joy, take care of our brain and our body, and reorient our lives around what God is calling us to become.  We are not our roles, we are souls.  Do you know who you are outside of what you do?  One day you are going to stop being a leader, and then you will be forced to answer the question, "Who am I?"  Don't go to the grave without fully knowing and understanding who you are.  

3.  Healthy Leaders ask, "Who are you, and how do I relate to you in an emotionally healthy way?"   

Healthy leaders are learning how to relate to others in an emotionally healthy way.  We are growing in our ability to:

• Communicate with others in an emotionally healthy and relationally intelligent way
• Resolve conflict and repair relationships
• Be authentic and accountable in close relationships where we can have safe community, be pastored and mentored
• Protect relationships with appropriate boundaries

What I have learned is that healthy leaders are growing in love with God, themselves and others.  If we are going to be healthy, then we have to make our health the most important priority in our lives because the best thing you can bring to your leadership is a healthy you.   

Where can you start?  Start by reading "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Pete Scazzero.  It was the very first book I read on emotional health that got me on the journey.