Defining success properly is one of the most important steps towards becoming a healthy leader. Most leaders define success as the accomplishment of a desired vision or goal. For some success is completing a building project, or reaching a financial goal or attendance goal, or growing an organization in size and number. So we equate being successful outwardly, as being successful. While many in western culture would say that bigger is better, the reality is that we can reach all of our goals, and outwardly be successful, but inwardly being failing miserably. Or, outwardly it could appear like we are failing, but we are actually succeeding. The problem is with our definition of success.
If we can define success properly, then we can remain centered both in the highs and lows of life and ministry.
In my journey towards becoming an emotionally and spiritually healthy leader I had to come face to face with the question, "What is success?" Not because I wasn't succeeding outwardly, but because my definition was not healthy. It was driven by ego, insecurity and the need to be validated. Outwardly, I was very successful, accomplishing much for God, as I saw the Church I pastored grow from 100 to a 1,000 in just 5 years. However, inwardly I was empty, disconnected to God, myself and others, and dying spiritually. To most people, I was successful, but in reality, I was failing at what mattered most.
So, what is success? After several years, my Church plateaued and I crashed. I had to come to the place where I needed to get a healthy understanding of what it meant to be successful. Pete Scazzero helped me alot in this area. Reading his books and listening to his podcasts gave me an understanding of what success is for me as a leader.
I came to understand that success is becoming who God wants me to become, doing what God wants me to do, in the way He wants me to do it, in his timing.
At first, this was very difficult for me to embrace this definition of success. However, as I learned to release the results to God, and focus more on becoming the person He wanted me to become, and doing what He wanted me to do, I started to experience a deep peace, contentment and centeredness with God that began to drive my life and ministry. I can remember the day that I journaled these words, "I am more passionate about growing in my relationship with Christ than growing a Church." I couldn't believe what I wrote, yet it was the cry of my heart after losing my intimacy with God. My fulfillment, my happiness, my contentment in life was no longer found in church attendance, size of buildings or budgets, but found in my intimate growing relationship with Jesus. Out of the overflow of that relationship, flows life and ministry.
Can you be successfully inwardly and outwardly? Absolutely. You can hit all your goals with the Church or organization and with Jesus, and I love it when that happens! This past Christmas, we crushed our Christmas Offering goal and I was thrilled. However, hitting that goal was not the most important thing for me. Intimacy with God, myself and others is. I am more passionate about growing in my relationship with Jesus, being a loving husband, father and Pastor, than hitting a Christmas Offering goal. When I retire, I am not taking my Church with me, I am taking Jesus. What's more important than anything else is having a growing intimate relationship with Christ.
Many Pastors will retire and be surprised to find out they will not have their Church or Jesus, because somewhere along the line the Church became more important than Jesus.
Here are some things that I hope will help you keep Jesus the main thing and help you become the person God wants you to become.
1. MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS YOUR MOST IMPORTANT MINISTRY.
Start your week off with a Monday meeting with Jesus. Don't go into the office right away. Don't start doing stuff. Sit with Jesus. Practice the welcoming prayer, lectio divine, the daily office, prayer of discernment, or simply just be with Jesus. Journal, read Scripture, meditate, and rest. Refuel your soul, go for a walk with Jesus, allow His Spirit to rejuvenate your heart and soul. Then in the afternoon, take time to start asking God's Spirit to speak to you about next week's message. Don't start writing a sermon, just listen. Each day practice the daily office throughout the day. That's when you stop, sit in silence with Jesus, read scripture and pray each day. Do that two or three times a day. Keep Jesus at the center of your day and week.
2. DON'T CHECK NUMBERS EVERY DAY.
I'm not telling you to not check the numbers. What I am saying is stop checking them every day! Once a month I check in on Sunday attendance, engagement, people serving, groups attendance for the purposes of effectiveness. I like to see how our Church is connecting and engaging overall in the life of the Church in a month. I used to get text messages every Sunday morning with attendance and offering numbers. I couldn't wait to get them! Numbers are important, there is a whole book in the Bible that is called Numbers! Numbers represents changed lives also, however, the reality is that all heaven rejoices over 1 soul who gives their life to Christ! I also evaluate annually with a coach who helps us discern what is effective, what is working, what needs to die, what needs to change.
3. STOP COMPARING AND JUST BE YOU.
You are not Steven Furtick, you are not Ed Young, you are not Craig Groeschel, you are not Carey Nieuwhof, and you are not Mike Todd, (If you are, What's up!"), you are YOU! I love those guys. I've learned so much from them, but I am not them. God called me to be me. He called me to become who He has called me to be, and do what He has called me to do, His way in His time. What makes those guys, and so many others so successful is that they are doing it the way God wants them to do it. Comparison is the quickest way to kill the beautiful things God is doing in your life. Sure, we can all learn from each other, but let's just be authentic.
4. FOCUS MORE ON BECOMING.
Becoming who God wants you to become is most important. Some questions I am asking myself these days are, "Am I becoming more loving, kind, generous, caring, concerned, empathetic, and gracious?" or "Am I becoming the father, the husband, the son, the pastor the leader God wants me to become?" I was encouraged recently to write my own obituary. I know it sounds a little morbid, but it helped me define the kind of person I wanted to be remembered for. Do you know that none of it included my accomplishments at Church or that I crushed the 2021 Christmas offering goal :). It was all about the kind of person I wanted to be known for. It was the kind of person God created me to be. It was who I was becoming.
5. DO WHAT GOD HAS PUT ON YOUR HEART TO DO.
There is so much more God wants to do in and through you that is so much more than how many people come to your Church on Sunday or watch you online. Inside of you there may be a leader of leaders, author, teacher, theologian, coach, mentor, friend, and so much more. You are more than your Sunday morning numbers. You are a Child of God, called by God to become who God has called you to become and do what God has put you on this earth to do, that no one on this planet can do. You are unique, and God has placed desires on your heart. Step out in faith. Out of the overflow of your relationship with Him do what God puts on your heart. This is what Jesus talks about in John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." It is from that place of intimacy with Jesus that you begin producing much fruit for Jesus. Fruit that remains.
This is what I want you to do. Take some time and ask the Holy Spirit to help you gain a deeper understanding of what is success. Ask Him to show you who He wants you to become. Begin taking time to rearrange your life around sacred rhythms that help you grow in intimacy with Jesus. Make your relationship with Jesus the most important, don't check those numbers all the time, stop comparing and just be you, focus more on becoming and doing what God wants you to do and who He wants you to become and you will be successful.
Recommended Reading: Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero
